Pretty Things On Shelves: A Second Chance Romance by Maggie Gates & Landon Gates

Author:Maggie Gates & Landon Gates [Gates, Maggie & Gates, Landon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-11-12T16:00:00+00:00

18

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT

One Small Act of Rebellion

Season One

Episode 20

“I Couldn’t Kiss Dating Goodbye Because Kissing Is Sinful.”

Aired Three Years Prior

“You’re created specifically for your betrothed. Every time you date someone who is not your betrothed, you give them a piece of your heart. The more pieces you give away, the less you have to give to the person that has been divinely chosen for you.”

Sophia pretended to gag.

“Sometimes the analogy was flowers. The more crushes you have, the more petals fall. Sometimes it was a piece of paper—the more people who ‘handle’ you, the dirtier and more damaged you are. At the end of the day, it demonized choice and elevated obedience. Trust your parents. Trust the reverend. Don’t trust yourself. Shame was the primary weapon in a war of submission. You don’t want to give your husband a withered stem when he could have had a beautiful rose.”

“It seems like a fast-track to abusive relationships,” Sophia said.

“Oh, it absolutely was. Courtship was elevated over dating because it skipped dating entirely and went to this weird middle ground where you’re not dating, but you’re not formally engaged yet. It was basically a series of job interviews. And you know who knows how to give all the right answers?”

“Abusers,” Sophia said. “Sociopaths.”

“Everyone in the Fellowship learns from the earliest age how to play the game. Some people genuinely believe what the reverend says to do and say. Some people just do it to avoid confrontation. The reverend always said that ‘pretending and playing the game when your heart isn’t in it is bad,’ but he also said to be obedient whether you feel like it or not.”

“Fake it or fake it. There’s no making it,” Sophia mused.

“It’s a recipe for disaster. The older generation in the Fellowship like to point to their own relationships as proof that courtship works. It’s this weird mix of confirmation and survivorship bias.”

Sophia chimed in. “It’s the perfect example of a straw man argument. Dating can have negative results, so the supposed answer is to not do it.”

“Rather than teaching healthy boundaries, consent, self-respect and respect for others, they decided to take away dating all together. They touted courtship as this flawless system. It was this belief that if you just followed all the rules, you would be blessed with a happy marriage. And guess what happened when a marriage didn’t work or when a spouse was abusive? You blamed yourself. You kept it to yourself because you didn’t want the rest of the community thinking you were sinning in secret, and that the hardships in your relationship were a result of that. Of course, that just keeps the cycle going because no one says anything. I was lucky—Caleb was never abusive. He was the farthest thing from it. But there were so many women who weren’t as lucky as I was.”

“Why do you feel lucky?”

“The Kings and Daltons have been close since before I was born. I’m the second-oldest daughter in my family. Caleb was the oldest son in his.

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